==tulip speaks==

Those who are close to me would know the hard time I am going through
now. It has been a week since I started to pop in pain-killers for my
headache which doesn’t seem to go away. And been a week since I have a
peaceful sleep. What I need most at the moment will be a shoulder to
lean on. Too much to ask I guess. But I needed a break somehow. So, I
couldn’t say no when my cousins wanted me to join a ‘tour’ at the fun
fair.

Fun fair always been a family affair for us. When grandpa
was well and still with us, he used to bring me to these fun fairs. Me,
being his fav and eldest grandchild, always given what I want, and one
of it will be touring the fun fairs. Big wheels always my favourite
although I am kinda afraid of heights. Fishing for some ducks, hoping
for huge teddies also something I loved to try here. There are so many
things I remember about fun fairs in my childhood, but I run out of
words each time I wanna write about it. This time I think some pics I
took at the fair able to replace my words.

Friendster is not allowing me to post embeded codes here. So, please visit my blogspot for the pictures!.

The case:

A friend fails
to attend your calls. Smses went unanswered. Till one point, where he
replied back saying he has some personal problems and feeling down. He
said he is doing okie but you know he does not sound okie. He promised
to call you back the next day. The call didn’t come. You became
restless. Again, your calls went unanswered and all you get in the end
of the day, a sms saying he’ll call you back.

Current situation:

Been
a month since you heard of him. You seems to be a little paranoid but
you are checking the obituary everyday (remembered that he said the
only time he gonna be missing from your life is when he is no longer
around). He still do not answer your calls and worse, he is not
replying you back. In end, you can no longer tolerate it and gives a
call from your office. Viola! He picked up! So, he is still alive.
Great! (Probably he picked up coz its an unknown number). You
desperately wanna know what happened to him and whether he is alright.
And all you get is a single sentence "I’m elsewhere now and I’ll call
you back". Thats a week ago. You know he is back but he doesn’t want to
see or talk to you again. You began to wonder if you have done anything
wrong. Nah.. besides being close to him; besides treating him as a
mentor for almost 2 years, you have done nothing wrong. Hmm..

The conclusion:

Fine! I had enough of this nonsense.
Get out of my life!
Hey wait.. I think he just did.

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We all wear
masks, dont we? Some admit it. Some don’t. We pretend to be someone or
something we aren’t for some reason, with some people. We can’t say no
when thats exactly what we want to say. We try to look happy when we
are sobbing inside. We wish good luck to others when we hope we are the
one given the wonderful opportunity. We dress ourselves in saree when
what we want is an ultra mini skirt. We visit temples when our wish is
to be in the club on Friday nite. We like a gal/guy, but we hold
ourselves wondering if our friend eyeing the same gal/guy. We put up a
smile when our boss hit at our stalled project when we are damning him
inside.

Why would we wanna be someone we aren’t?

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During a council proceeding, a CCTV was ‘caught’ zooming on one of the
reporter’s thigh instead of the proceeding! Read the initial report HERE.
Usual reactions like havoc, police report and ‘investigation’ followed
it. But the comment given by the council president caught many by
surprise. You can read it HERE. This is what I call a dumb response.

I’m reserving my comment on this. Will update again when I have cool down a little.

As expected, The council president is being slammed by numerous groups, as expected. Read it HERE, HERE , HERE and HERE.
Reactions which I knew who come sooner or later. We have discussed this
issue of sexy-women-asking-to-be-raped many times. In the end, we
always come to the conclusion of victims should not be blamed. Yet, the
issue never dies. After sometime all the discussion, the explanation
soon forgotten and we are all back to square one - handling critism
from male chauvinist who knows nothing else other than blaming the
women for the harassment and discrimination we face. Harassments and
violence on women happens regardless of her looks, her age or even her
attire. Will the council president say the same thing if this happened
to one of his own family member? I don’t think he would say "Oh, this
happened because my xxx didn’t wear her tudung." or "I should make sure
my xxx stick to a dress code". He would have ragged with temper.

So,
why the discrimination when it comes to someone else’s daughter? Who
gave this man the rights to disgrace another woman? Is mere apology is
enough to undo the damage? For me, a man who doesn’t respect another
woman, do not deserve any respect either. He has lost the respect which
the society gave him, I don’t think he even deserves to be forgiven.

A wallpaper tribute to the women of today. Download it via MY FLICKR

Look at the twinkling stars
Gaze at the glowing moon 
Listen to the waves 
Feel the ocean breeze

You will see me.

Found a new hobby - making wallpaper that is. Just filling up the free time I have, learning Photoshop and these wallpapers are more like my homework sheets Check them out HERE and if u like it, feel free to download it. If you think I need to brush up on it, please kindly advise me on it. As I said, I’m still learning.