==tulip speaks==

To the world, he was a soldier
To me, he was the world.

-Colin Smith, 1981

Sometimes there are some songs which you rarely listen to. But when you
do, you are mesmerized to the point of losing yourself in it. Sharing
two songs from the same Tamil movie ‘Kanda naal muthal’ which kinda
‘old’ but never fails to entertain me everytime I listen to it.

Its still beginning of the week, but should that be a reason for you not to unwind?
Enjoy the songs here

I want to go back and change everything. 
  Or is it just a thing?   

I can’t handle this any longer. 
Or am I wishing for it to be prolonged?   

Here I am handing you my heart to be taken care of.   
Or is it a sword for you to kill my love?   

Let me go, I promise to never come back.
Or is it me refusing to leave?

… are none.

Probably
that explains my loneliness. While I must agree I have met wonderful
people in the online world, especially in the blog-o-sphere, I also
have met equal number of those who don’t deserve to be called human,
let alone my friends. Prior to be active online, I was very much into
people. Love to meet them, love to communicate with my fellow beings.
But something that happened 5 years ago, completely changed my
perception of people. I had this friend, who was so close to me that
she was my walking diary. And one day I just lost my diary. Lost it to
the darkness called betrayal.

Ever since that happened, my personal space has
become too personal. I don’t wish
to let anyone in my personal space,
not even nearing it.No, I don’t hate anyone but I’m scared of almost
everyone. I did try to overcome this ill-feeling once. I TRIED to let
someone in but only to have my heart and trust to be broken.

I
am not sure if I deserve this. May be I am not such a good person -
fine. May be I have done something wrong in my past birth and the karma
is chasing me now - fine. May be I have done similar wrong-doing to
someone else - fine. But does that mean my personal space will be
vacant for the rest of my life?

I was surfing around when I bumped into this wonderful free site called Dumpr.
You get to have fun with your photos which are hosted in Flickr. You
may also upload the URL or upload the pictures directly from your
computer. Of course the effects are possible with Adobe Photoshop. But
for those without the basics and to save time, Dumpr (together with
Picasa) will be helpful.

The header image for the latest tulipspeaks was made using the Amazing Circles in Dumpr. The original image is here.

I did some ‘magic’ to my photos and they are all in the slide show here. Discover the site and have fun!

2 post in 1 - hopefully that explains the bizarre nature of the title for this post.

First, its Chinese New Year (Year of Boar - although I call it Year of Piggies :P) again. I digged my archives and found an ancient post on
CNY. Save my time writing another one for this year what a lazy
piggy I am. kekekeke. But I’m hard-working enough to design a wallpaper
for CNY. It actually developed from pictures I took of the lantern
hanging over my dining table.

Download it: 1024*768 | 800*600

Now about chastity belt. I think by now, you guys already know how many dungus Malaysians have as authority. lolz. Here is another bizarre announcement/suggestion which
came from someone who is described as ‘a well-respected religious
figure’. I don’t know if these guys actually think before they speak or
it is otherwise. Of course, the suggestion came under fire from the women groups.

Wait.. may be he is right, just got the gender wrong. What if I say.. "the
majority of sexual offenders are men. so its mandatory for Malaysian
men to wear chastity belts and the keys are to be hold by their mother
or wife". Nice eh?

alone -
depression - empty - black - tears - headache - cold - disoriented -
phone - blog - tears again - sleeping pills - silence - anger - red -
nude - sea - fire - suicide - further depression - blur - shout - empty
again

Update
your MyCard, I’ll give you a MyVi

Capture
the offenders, I’ll give you cash

That two articles are about
some of silly ‘offering’ by the authorities to Malaysian public. When I heard
the news that the ministry is organizing lucky draws and offering MyVi as the
grand prize, I was so disappointed! No.. I’m not disappointed coz its just a
MyVi. I was disappointed I have changed my IC to MyCard so early! If I had
missed the deadline, and just pretend like the other 2 million dungus, I might have qualified nah? *though
eventually they said evryone qualifies for the draw. lolz.. now that the
Ministry is being headed by someone else (hopefully someone who knows the
logic), the contest has been scrapped and the prizes are ’said’ to be donated to
orphanages.

And the second article is a clear-up of stupidity shown by
the Road Transport Dept in organizing a contest called "Press, Send & Win".
Apparently the public were encouraged to take pictures of traffic offenders and
send it over to them. But won’t the eagerness to get the best shot land the
people in trouble? What if they fall into the drain? What if they hit another
vehicle or worse, another pedestrian while taking photos? The Road Transport
Dept failed to understand that not everyone are professional photographers and
not everyone has the skill to take photos on road. So now the Transport Minister
has stepped in and called off the contest. Good..

Two ministers with
almost same kinda logical thinking.. but how come its happening now? Don’t they
know its absurd even before announcing such contests? Or it is just a tactic to
show that they ARE logic thinkers after all?

How I’m going to spend my V-day? I mentioned this in Priya’s blog. Thought it worth sharing..

Tentative programme for 14th Feb 2007:

1. wake up earlier than usual

2. reach office at 7 or at least 7.30 (work starts at 8.30)

3. work

4. meeting

5. work

6. extra work

7. drive back home slowly

8. reach home as late as i can

9. bath

10. eat

11. sleep as quickly as possible

lolz.. officially I’m boycotting this year’s V-day (as usual)

But somehow I could help myself but to work on a wallpaper for the Day. Posted in Flickr few days back. Just in case if you didn’t notice it, here is it again.

Download it: 1024*768 | 800*600

I had a wonderful but mysterious
dream last night. Certainly I didn’t expect it when I just had an
argument, took some sleeping pills and cry myself to sleep.

I
was sleeping when there was this bright warm light from outside my
window woke me up. I’m very sensitive towards lights even when I am
asleep. I walked out of my room towards the porch. To my surprise it
was porch of my old house, which I was born and grew up. I stood on the
wet grass and looked up. Oh my! It was the most beautiful scene I have
ever seen!! The moon, stars and the buruj all in bright shining golden
color!! For a moment, I just stood there in amazement. The sky was
dynamic; the buruj kept forming and forming, but before I could see it
more clearly, it would move away from the scene. And all these rite on
my home. I could not see anything like this elsewhere. Its like having
a golden sky blanketing me and my home. I quickly ran to my room, took
my cam and ran out to capture the scene. But I just couldn’t do it- its
like the sky is not allowing me to capture it! Sigghh…then I give up
taking pictures and just sit down on the grass and continue to watch
the sky. All of the sudden, the sky went dark - pitch black as if
someone has just switched off everything. I waited for a while, and
all I could see was few stars looking dim. Disappointed, I went to bed.
The minute I lay down, I woke up (in real). 

I
think it occurred early morning, coz I woke up and found it was around
6am.Tried to put everything I still remember into a drawing. I don’t
know if the wallpaper below looks neat but it came from my memory. I
don’t know what the dream means (if it has any meaning), but it has
left great impact on me..

Download it: 1024*768 | 800*600