I’m in search of a species named Homo sapiens with a rare subspecies called Homo sapiens gentilis. In layman term, I am looking for a gentleman. Anyone has any information on this precious subspecies?
Have they gone extinct? Or are they should be classified as endangered species?
*gentilis - Latin word from which the word gentleman was derived from.
Okie okie.. I don’t wear miniskirts anymore (I used to.. *sighh!!)
because I’m too fat (and ugly) in it. *hate to admit this to the
world.. but got to speak some truth at some point nah? hehehehehehe
But
I’m all for low neck tops/tunics/saree blouses! Oh yea.. I flaunt it!!
It looks sexy and most importantly took away the unnecessary attention
from my hips, for which I am glad for! Especially, a low neck saree
blouse combined with see-through black/maroon/white saree!! Whoa!! and
I am very sure there are a lot of girls out there with similar taste.
See, even a geek like me talks about fashion nowadays!! 
I know what is the difference between being sexy and being
naked okie?? So, there is no need for me to ‘regret’ or ‘ashamed’ of
what I wear. First of all, it is no one’s concern of what I wear. I
know how to cover up when I visit temples. I know how to dress up for
work, and I definitely know my limits. So, what’s with the rolling
eyes, boys?
*Especially dedicated for the dungu who seems to enjoy leaving messages in my flickr whenever he sees a cleavage.
Before
I have someone trashing me for the post, just wanna make something
clear here.. as I always emphasized in all my other "so-what" posts, "I"
or "me" in the post not necessarily refers to myself. The "so what"
series are about women and issues surrounding them. I just put myself
in their shoes and trying to make myself to feel and endure what they
are going through.
Read my other post in the series: I’m not a virgin…so? | I’m dark-skinned…so? | I want a househusband…so? | I’m a Tamil ponnu… so? | I’m pretty… so? | I wear saree.. so?
Hey guys, I am a bit unwell at the moment & just can’t get myself
to think straight. No, it is not psychological illness. I’m taking a
break from blogging & blog-hopping till I get well again. Till
then, do visit my other posts in this page. They are all still open for
discussion. I will reply to all the comments when I got back to the
blogworld.
Gonna miss everyone.
Hugsss.
I did semen analysis before :P. Please believe me when I say so. It was
my industrial training and I was placed in one of the leading
pathological laboratory here. There will be a rotation and the trainees
were required to be placed in each department for about 7 - 10 days
whether you like it or not. That’s when I learnt to analyse blood,
urine, stool (yucks!) and semen! :)))))
I was 21 and I never
seen seminal fluid ever prior to that. Hehehehe.. not at I am seeing it
everyday now. It was initially freaky and I was a bit ’shy’. It was an
analysis for male infertility. We got to record the colour, liquidity,
sperm motility and sperm count. As semen has to be analysed within 2
hours upon collection, the clients usually drop by the lab and
‘provide’ their samples then and there. Hell no! We are not allowed to
collect the sample from the clients, mind you Our work strictly
confined to the lab.
I
remember wearing double gloves - just to make sure NONE of the semen
touched my hands or fingers. I couldn’t imagine eating my lunch with my
hands if I ever got into close contact with that sticky thing! :S God
bless the glove-makers! One thing I enjoyed doing there will be
watching the sperms moving. Or was it racing? Hehehehehe!
Humour
apart, I realised one thing - there are few men out there understood
there is such thing as male infertility. When a couple is not blessed
with a child, the first thing one would say - "send the wife for a
medical check up". What’s wrong in sending the husband for a check up?
The facts say that in any case of a couple being childless, 40% of the
infertility is related to men and 20% of the cases is incurable. And
here we got men marrying for second or even third time citing that his
wife is ‘infertile’.
Probably they don’t want their ego to be
shattered. That’s one. What could be other reasons for some men to
ignore the fact they need professional help here?
I look like an evil Japanese doll.
Grrr!!!!
I just got my
studio photos taken for my graduation today. Can’t help but to notice
how different I look. Do I look fake? May be.
I have uploaded the rest of the photos in My Flickr for you guys to have a good laugh! 
Although
I enjoy going through others’ studio photographs - usually looking into
the fine details of the ‘art’, I must admit it is a painful procedure
when it comes to my session:
"Look up a bit";
"Head down..head down!";
"Turn left please";
"I mean your body turn to left, head looks straight";
"Smile pleaseeeeeeee";
"Show your teeth a bit";
"A bit only can huh?"
May
be it sounds familiar to you too. Have you ever took any studio
photographs? (No, passport-sized photos doesn’t count! :P). What is
your studio experience?
Thank you so much for the encouraging comments for my cries for help.
Will be replying to those comments later today (its just past midnight
now :P). One thing I can assure you - I am feeling much better now. I
agree some things are just beyond our control, and some incidences
happen for a reason. Thanks again and enjoy the weekend with a song
below - Madhavan & AR Rahman at their best!
Movie: Alaypayuthey
Song: Pachai Nirame
Almost the entire world now knows that I have graduated. Good. Few people realised (and remembered) its my birthday yesterday. Not so bad either. But I bet everyone think ammu must be in cloud nine right now, enjoying her Merdeka holiday which triples as her birthday & convocation break. Wrong.
Anyone who could read my mind and may be those who knows my heart should have realised something is not right when this post on selfishness
came up last week. To many, it was nothing but an one-line question,
but those who truly loves me will know that is not just any one-line
question. I don’t know if anyone realised that - literally meaning ‘i
don’t know if anyone loves me that much’ to know something is not quite
right.
A crossroad. A limbo. A dilemma. A w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r.
People have different names for what I am feeling right now, but I
don’t have one. I am not so sure what this whole uncertainty means or
if the linguistic experts have a word for it. Or may be you can tell me
what is the right word for this mess I’m in right now.
I
have always put the others - my so-called the loved ones before me. And
these ‘loved-ones’ I am talking about are not my family members
(although they take precedence to anything else in the world). These
‘loved-ones’ are friends and those who has a very special bond with me.
I have never ever asked for THEIR time to be specially dedicated to me,
THEIR day to be sacrificed for my sake, THEIR relationship to be
compromised to make me happy - although I did that for THEM, knowingly
or unknowingly. I never asked for anything materialistic in return and
I was (and I am) proud of that fact. "The hand that gives is better
than the hand that takes. " Thats how the saying goes, but I have
reached the point where I am not sure if I am able to give anymore
without taking anything for myself. I am a normal human being after
all. A lonely human being.
Now I am asking myself - "I
have endured enough. Why should I still be giving? Why shouldn’t I
become a selfish person as well? What’s wrong in it? I want to survive
too."
"no never wish for that Ammu…cos you are YOU..and they are THEM. That’s what differentiates a good person from a bad one."
- Keshi on my post on selfishness.
You
know Keshi, I am tired of being ‘the good’ one here. I am tired of
putting a smile across of my wide face, grinning while I am hurting
inside. I am tired of being taken for granted. I am tired of being used
at will. I am tired of many things, Keshi. I just can’t go on like this
ANY longer. I feel like there is some kind of parasite trying to
consume my body and worst, my soul bit by bit. I ain’t Mother Theresa
to everyone, but I am not a whore either.
"You can wish to be..but once you are you will not like yourself"-Seal in Astral on the same post
I
understood your concern, but what makes you think that I love myself
being bullied right now? Or may be you didn’t know what is happening
here, which is obviously not your fault.
So
now, taking is bad and I can’t carry on by giving everything to
everyone any longer. What would I do? May be I should stop giving and
never takes anything either? May be I should sue them? 
I
have completed my master. So what’s next? Obviously I want to further
my studies. Plus I have find a career for me as well. I am 27, not 20
any more and that fact freaks the hell of out me. I have nothing when
that shouldn’t be the case. With everything - my time, my passion and
most of my precious life given out to people who doesn’t seem to value
it, how am I going to pick up the pieces and start it all over again?
